Thursday, June 23, 2011

Wednesday's Doctor Appointment

Oh gosh where to begin. So I ended a few days ago wondering what the doctor was going to tell me that I didn't already know, or wanted to hear. No, nothing is wrong with me physically. I took his tests and I'm taking the Folic acid and baby aspirin daily. The HSG test found nothing. So where do we go from here? Well he gave me 2 options. One was major, the other, not so major. The first option was IVF. My husband and I both felt that right now that option wasn't for us. We have always felt like IVF was a last resort type thing, and believe me if it gets to that point somewhere down the road we would be happy to go ahead with it.

As for us, we chose the not so major option which is IUI. Basically, he gave me a prescription for Clomid which I take next month. I take the OPK's and on the day of the LH surge, I go in and they squirt the sperm right into my uterus. I'm laughing as I write this but I can't think of any other way to describe it.

It's exciting to think about and my fingers are still crossed that I get pregnant this month without the help of the doctor. I had a positive OPK this month which is something that hasn't happened since the miscarriage so that's promising, and we've been doing everything right on schedule and taking the medications and praying every single night. For now that's all we can do for the next 2 weeks. I hate this part. Half the month flies by, and the rest just drags on and on until AF day. Anyway, thanks for listening. Gotta keep praying for a pregnancy. Off to say our prayers to St. Gerard and go to bed.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Why is ovulation so confusing?

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone following my blog. Knowing someone is out there reading what I'm saying and thinking has made this process a little easier. I've enjoyed the comments that I've gotten and they always make me a little misty eyed because I really feel like you guys are right there with me, so I thank you for that.

So, I know my doctors appointment is Wednesday and I'll ask him this question, but I figured I'd throw it out there to see if anyone else can shed some light. I've been tracking my ovulation for the past year and up until recently haven't seem to be really having anything to track. I have the ovulation tracker as an app on my phone and it tells me when my period is due, when my most fertile days are and when I should be ovulating. The app tells when most people should ovulate -- 14 days into your cycle and all that. Up until now that's what I was assuming was happening with me. For a while I thought I was ovulating late because I wasn't seeing any lines on the ovulation sticks, or I'd see a really faint line for a day or two on the days the tracker said I should be ovulating, and then that'd be it.

So this week I decided to change things up and start with the ovulation sticks a week early because a few days ago I was having a discharge that looked like the ovulation discharge. OK so on Saturday there was a faint line, on Sunday there was a faint line but a tad darker than Saturday, and today the line was deep deep purple, just as dark as the control line. Here's my question though: my ovulation app said that I should ovulate on the 25th based on when I got my period and all that. This seems a bit early no? I don't know if I should be worried because It's too early, or if it's a good thing because this is the first time I've seen an actual LH surge in about 4 months since the chemical pregnancy. This could be due to my being on my super-mega dose of folic acid and baby aspirin every day which could be regulating my hormones now and making me actually ovulate. It just seems so early.

So I guess we start trying again starting now, unless the doctor tells us any different on Wednesday at our appointment. Also today my Aunt sent me a a blessed St. Gerard medal and novena prayer (St. Gerard is the patron saint of expectant mothers and those who want to conceive). So for now, as always, we will be saying our prayers tonight (and a special one to Saint Gerard). Thank you so much Aunt Vicki!! And talk to you all soon!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Blue Dye Test

So I was all nervous for nothing. I went in this morning for my Hysterosalpingogram hearing all different things about it from just about everyone. Someone told me it took about 2 hours and only hurt for a minute, and someone else told me it hurt really badly the whole time.. Well, it took about 5 minutes from start to finish and barely hurt at all. It's a little awkward having the doctor shove a speculum into you and open up your cervix but that takes about 15 seconds and then its over. The most pain came about an hour after it was over when I was having mild cramps, but it was barely noticeable.

So right after the test is over (and I mean right after.. The girl was still moving the x-ray away from me and the doctor was walking over to me) he gives me my results so... drum roll please.... Everything was just fine! They found nothing!! It's a bitter sweet victory in the fertility journey. Finding something would be bad because then there'd be a problem, but at least we could fix it. Now that theres nothing wrong we now have to go in for ANOTHER consultation and decided "where we're gonna go from here" as the doctor put it. I'm happy that they found nothing because that means nothings wrong with me and I guess I now still have a better chance of getting pregnant right? But now where do we go from here? What does that even mean? I don't want to go in for another consult and pay this doctor more money so he can tell me that I'm fine, theres nothing wrong and that's it. This is so frustrating.

Anyway our next appointment is June 22nd at 3:30 where we can discuss "where to go." Whatever the heck that means. As for now, time to keep on praying. And maybe a nap after this eventful day :) Talk to you all soon.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Hi there

I'd like to start by telling you a little about myself. My name is Ally and I am 25 years old and married to a wonderful man who is my absolute best friend. If I didn't have him to go through this process with, I think I would have gone off the deep end by now. We have been trying for the past year to get pregnant and have had, it seems, many problems along the way in this short time so far.
I had just come off birth control after being on it for about 5 years so we gave ourselves a little elbow room the first few months when I wasn't getting pregnant. Like all newlyweds and "first time triers" we thought getting pregnant would be easy as pie and slowly but surely our high hopes came crashing down. Month after month we were not getting pregnant. To make matters worse we would hear stories from our friends saying "Oh it was so easy, we got pregnant the first time we tried!" If I had a dime for every person who told me they or a friend of theirs got pregnant within the first few months of trying, I would be richer than Donald Trump.
6 months later we hit our first bump in the road. I got my period in January and it was the most painful experience I have ever had. Every month I would read these fertility websites talking about "real" and "fake" periods and when do the "real" ones start after you stop taking birth control. Well this month I was elated thinking "I finally got a real period!! We can start the baby making now!!" and sure enough 2 weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test. After going for my first ultra sound I was told the painful period I experienced 2 weeks earlier was a miscarriage and there was no baby. I was absolutely devastated. The doctors told me miscarriages in early pregnancy were common. EVERYONE who found out seemed to know that bit of info and apparently thought they were comforting me by repeating it. "Oh it's fine, it's so common, don't worry, you'll be pregnant in no time and then you'll be so tired running around with kids you'll be wondering why you didn't wait!"
... this is the one thing NO person struggling with infertility EVER EVER EVER wants to hear. I would give my freaking right kidney to charity if it meant I would be pregnant right now. I WANT to be up in the middle of the night coddling a crying baby. I WANT the 4am feedings and the exhaustion that only comes after the first week of having a new baby in the house. I would kill for it. It's so frustrating because it's the one thing that really is in gods hands. You can work your whole life and get promotions and make money and earn things but you can't earn a baby. You can only make one and that takes pure luck.
2 months later we miscarried again and the next month we had a chemical pregnancy. We started to feel like it just wasn't in the cards for us. We were on our knees praying every night for a blessing. We joined prayer circles and websites to get other people to help us pray, we were peeing on ovulation test sticks every day, sometimes twice a day in the morning and at night so we wouldn't miss the right time, we did EVERYTHING and we were getting nowhere. Finally after a little more than a year we started going to an infertility endocrinologist.
This is where we are now. We both had an insane amount of blood taken. My husbands was just fine and perfect and I was found to have a folic acid deficiency. Apparently my body doesn't metabolize it, so I am now on a daily superhuman dose of folic acid. I also have a genetic blood clotting disorder called PAI-1. The doctor said there is a good chance this is why I miscarried. Well, it's a start. this Thursday I am going to have a hysterosalpingogram or as my husband and I have been calling it "the blue dye test." They put a blue dye in your uterus and follow it's path through the fallopian tubes to find out if both tubes are open and able to release eggs. It also checks to make sure your uterus is in working order. Here's a link to some more info...

So that's our story so far. I'll write more on Thursday after my blue dye test and talk about how it went. I'm nervous but hopefully we'll learn something new that will help us get pregnant in the future. As for now, like always, we are still praying for a pregnancy.