Oooh, where to begin.

I stopped writing after last month because I was upset. I thought writing a blog would be an easy way to get my feelings out but in fact it's a lot harder to do than I thought. The clomid didn't work the first time around and my husband and I sort of gave up hopes of ever getting pregnant. We didn't give up trying, we just both sort of came to the conclusion at the end of July that we didn't really believe it was ever going to happen. I've said it before because we've been feeling this way for a while but now we're getting scared that that's the ultimate truth. Despite what the doctor says about us being young and healthy and what high chances we have. So we gave up for about a week. After that, we pulled ourselves together and snapped back to reality and decided to keep on going. It's been very hard for us and that's partly why I've been so quiet on here lately but a lot has gone on and I thought I'd write in with an update because the next few months I think there are going to be A LOT of updates.

Well this month, September, we were supposed to be starting the fertility shots. We did one round of clomid in July and the next step was the fertility shots. By the way I went to the doctor this morning for a routine ultrasound and my ovarian cyst from the clomid is gone, as is the random fluid in my uterus that he kept seeing during every other ultrasound. I am in tip top uterine condition for the first time in about 6 months or more.

Now, before I go any further let me explain about our insurance. We have great medical insurance because my husband works for Verizon and even though they are still negotiating their new contracts (they were on strike for 2 weeks over this!!), the medical covers just about everything including infertility specialists. The problem, however, is that it only gives us a certain amount of money towards this. Forever. Once that money is gone, we're done with the fertility treatments. then we just try on our own from then on. Ok back to where I was.. We had a meeting with the doctor to discuss the next step, that being fertility shots, and he said he would see us in a month when it was time to begin.

Well last week I went by myself for a meeting with the doctor. Now that the strike is over I have to attend these meeting and make all the big decisions by myself since my hubby is working overtime! Well we started to talk about the shots and what that would entail. He explained the whole thing to me and I kept asking him what was the difference between the shots and clomid. I still think they are virtually the same thing except one is a weak series of pills and one is a strong series of shots. They both work on the same principal: use them, pee on ovulation sticks, get inseminated or have sex on the right day and maybe, possibly get pregnant that month. Then he offered me a third option.

He pulled up my insurance info and we started chatting about how much was left before we capped out and how much everything would cost and how many rounds of this or that we could do. We weighed together our chances and mixed it with costs and he then suggested in vitro fertilization and he said that it was covered by our insurance and we could do it for 2 rounds before capping out at our coverage limit. He told me everything there was to know about it and exactly how to process worked and how long it would take. He offered us this option the last time we saw him but we turned it down because we didn't think our insurance would cover it. Now that we know it does, I made the decision to jump on the chance. The whole process takes about 3 months so the actual fertilization part won't be taking place until mid-late November, but we are looking forward to it and I will try my hardest to keep blogging during all steps. I haven't stopped praying, no matter how hard it has been or how hopeless it seems. Talk to you all soon. Step one is calling the IVF specialist when I get AF this month.. Looking forward to that phone call! :)